Today I turned 30 years old. At first sight I might seem quite a few years before the rest of my peers, many of them, married with children and with professional careers. I've known many people fear turning 30, some even locked themselves alone to pretend it didn't happen. But to me, 30 is a miracle.
It's gotten me to thinking how impossible it seemed at some points in the last couple years to imagine having a normal birthday party, small and intimate, nothing out of the ordinary. I am so grateful to have had that tonight.
I've often said that my medical challenges have been a gift, and most people probably think I'm just trying to be strong or noble. Here's what I found
- that I only was really able to see the beauty in the world until I was told there was a good chance I would be blind.
- Even though my strokes impacted my speech. I now choose my words carefully, and when I have moments they come easily, I celebrate.
- I have only found the freedom and peace that comes from letting go of control when I was forced into a situation when I had no choice but to do so.
- I only believed in the good in people when a stranger saved my life.
- I have no fear because I was in a situation when death was near.
I'm lucky, not just because I have survived but because my challenges have made me who I am.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
love and a little social disobedience
I pass by this graffiti on the way home every day and every day it makes me smile. A year ago I would still have smiled but since starting Cre Comm, something has happened to me. I'm noticing grammar. I'm becoming one of those people I always made fun of. I now appreciate this graffiti not just because it's a nice message, but also because of the proper use of you're and the Canadian spelling of favourite.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Sue Lewis: CEO, Aunt, Friend, Mentor
My aunt Sue, has never been Auntie Sue or anything sucky like that. Just Sue. She has always been a very close friend. Sue and I would spend hours playing a quiet game of cards or having a conversation that would last for hours and every once in a while a dance party in the middle of a family dinner. As I grew older, I started to appreciate her as more then just a wonderful aunt and friend but also for the work that she does and how she does it. I want to share a conversation we had last summer, that continues to inspire me as I stumble my way through this program.
You won't be seeing Susan Lewis’ name on a ballot form anytime soon. In a world of instant gratification and quick fixes, Lewis holds close to the importance of patience, of active listening, not compromising your own values and staying the course.
A self-described "lifer" with the United Way, Sue started as a door-to-door canvasser at 18. Though reluctant to speak of her personal accomplishments, there have been many. By 28 she'd become the first female to lead a campaign in Canada. Associate Executive Director at 35. The first female Executive Director at 38.. Nearly 30 years later, despite growing the United Way from 26 to 80 employees and meeting fundraising goals just shy of 20 Million, Sue is still quick to downplay her accomplishments. She was, she remembers a "thoughtful and shy" child, not exactly typical descriptors of those destined to become "successful CEOs" but these have been hallmarks of her atypical leadership. Even her counterparts in other United Ways are more front and centre. Is she still shy? Sue pauses and says: "Outwardly? perhaps not but it shows in my leadership style. I lead easily from behind or beside. I have no need or desire to lead from out in front. Being able to lead from behind or beside brings out the strengths of people who are around me.".
Sue’s focus on values permeates her life: "It's important, early in life, to go inside yourself and identify what your strengths are, what's truly important to you, what values you want to embrace in how you work with others. Then be true to those things. . . I think that’s what I have been able to do."
Compassion, conviction, patience in solving complex problems, and the importance of creating connections between people are what Sue has stayed true to. Being rooted in values of truth and respect, is vital to Sue - be prepared to suspend judgement, ready to put aside our own organizational agendas to work towards a common vision. Sue speaks quietly,but with conviction, about the importance of finding new ways of listening to one another: "We must not only do different work but we must work together differently. Issues now are more complex, more inter-related. . .At one time organizations felt they could solve issues themselves. . . I am convinced that when trying to eliminate homelessness and reduce poverty, no one organization, no one sector can do it alone.” Authentic listening to one another, instead of attributing blame, is, she believes, key to lasting social transformation. "It's difficult. If it were simple we'd have done it already. We must question years of entrenched patterns of thinking
And when things get tough for her, personally, what helps her? "I jump in my car and go out to a community agency and spend 2 or 3 hours with the director and watch the kids in the programs and hear the wonderful success stories of lives that have been changed. When I’m driving back I know why I do what I do."
Within ten years Sue hopes to see a city without homelessness, where every child has the opportunity to be the best they can, where each neighbourhood is safe and welcoming. Overly- optimistic? Perhaps. But one thing you can be sure of is this: she will be working everyday to make it happen, even if no one ever hears about her doing it.
Sue and I at the lake
Sue, about 7 years old
Sue on her wedding day, in her ' after" outfit
Sue and I, at the lake this summer in a typical conversation
Sue, in her role at The United Way
You won't be seeing Susan Lewis’ name on a ballot form anytime soon. In a world of instant gratification and quick fixes, Lewis holds close to the importance of patience, of active listening, not compromising your own values and staying the course.
A self-described "lifer" with the United Way, Sue started as a door-to-door canvasser at 18. Though reluctant to speak of her personal accomplishments, there have been many. By 28 she'd become the first female to lead a campaign in Canada. Associate Executive Director at 35. The first female Executive Director at 38.. Nearly 30 years later, despite growing the United Way from 26 to 80 employees and meeting fundraising goals just shy of 20 Million, Sue is still quick to downplay her accomplishments. She was, she remembers a "thoughtful and shy" child, not exactly typical descriptors of those destined to become "successful CEOs" but these have been hallmarks of her atypical leadership. Even her counterparts in other United Ways are more front and centre. Is she still shy? Sue pauses and says: "Outwardly? perhaps not but it shows in my leadership style. I lead easily from behind or beside. I have no need or desire to lead from out in front. Being able to lead from behind or beside brings out the strengths of people who are around me.".
Sue’s focus on values permeates her life: "It's important, early in life, to go inside yourself and identify what your strengths are, what's truly important to you, what values you want to embrace in how you work with others. Then be true to those things. . . I think that’s what I have been able to do."
Compassion, conviction, patience in solving complex problems, and the importance of creating connections between people are what Sue has stayed true to. Being rooted in values of truth and respect, is vital to Sue - be prepared to suspend judgement, ready to put aside our own organizational agendas to work towards a common vision. Sue speaks quietly,but with conviction, about the importance of finding new ways of listening to one another: "We must not only do different work but we must work together differently. Issues now are more complex, more inter-related. . .At one time organizations felt they could solve issues themselves. . . I am convinced that when trying to eliminate homelessness and reduce poverty, no one organization, no one sector can do it alone.” Authentic listening to one another, instead of attributing blame, is, she believes, key to lasting social transformation. "It's difficult. If it were simple we'd have done it already. We must question years of entrenched patterns of thinking
And when things get tough for her, personally, what helps her? "I jump in my car and go out to a community agency and spend 2 or 3 hours with the director and watch the kids in the programs and hear the wonderful success stories of lives that have been changed. When I’m driving back I know why I do what I do."
Within ten years Sue hopes to see a city without homelessness, where every child has the opportunity to be the best they can, where each neighbourhood is safe and welcoming. Overly- optimistic? Perhaps. But one thing you can be sure of is this: she will be working everyday to make it happen, even if no one ever hears about her doing it.
Sue and I at the lake
Sue, about 7 years old
Sue on her wedding day, in her ' after" outfit
Sue and I, at the lake this summer in a typical conversationSue, in her role at The United WayThursday, September 5, 2013
Afaf and Issiah
Afaf is a Sudanese newcomer, and Issiah is her 5 year old son. Afaf is big in all ways. Big personality. Big courage. Big love. Big frustrations. Big laugh. Big smile. I know Afaf through Knox United Church, where my Dad works. For my photo essay I told her I wanted to spend the day with her. " Alright then, come to my place at 5:30, that's when I get up, but no photos until I do my hair" She laughed. Afaf gets more done by 10 am that I sometimes do by 5. Issiah didn't have to work hard to wiggle right into my heart. He is smart and observant and so full of affection and love. Afaf shared her life with me. The bus ride at 6 am in minus 25, her yearning for a house, not a small apartment in Manitoba Housing. Her frustrations at not being able to find a job. Having coffee at Tim Hortons in Portage Place, where we met up with her friends, and chatted about kids and getting filled in on the latest gossip. They talked about how things are so different in Sudan. But she never complained. Her sharing was about yearning and hope and frustrations but it was also about faith. We laughed together about relationships and men " don't worry Kristin, one day some man will love you even with that skinny body of yours".
I wasn't some white girl doing a project on " a newcomer." I was Kristin, spending time with my friend Afaf. The next day I did the same thing, just because I liked them. Issiah cried that day in daycare because he wanted to " see Kristin". I probably shouldn't have been as happy as I was to hear that.
That day she hadn't been able to contact her Mom, news of the Sudanese Bombing had broken. All of a sudden that wasn't just a headline that barely got 1 minute on the news, it was Afaf's Mom.
I wasn't some white girl doing a project on " a newcomer." I was Kristin, spending time with my friend Afaf. The next day I did the same thing, just because I liked them. Issiah cried that day in daycare because he wanted to " see Kristin". I probably shouldn't have been as happy as I was to hear that.
That day she hadn't been able to contact her Mom, news of the Sudanese Bombing had broken. All of a sudden that wasn't just a headline that barely got 1 minute on the news, it was Afaf's Mom.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
hidden beauty in Winnipeg and beyond
I am consistently moved by unconventional beauty found in Winnipeg and beyond. Whether it be, the scar from a double lung transplant, loving our bodies for the miraculous things they do, rather then how a industry tells us how they should look, a newcomer woman from Sudan taking care of her three sons living in Manitoba Housing, looking for a job, fighting everyday for the faith that sustains her, a child going through kimo laughing hysterically at a sock puppet, a beautiful pair of shoes that has walked through hell and back, graffiti art, how the love of a pet can comfort, a young Dad learning to read for the first time so he can teach his son, the beauty of resiliency.
I hope to share these stories, so I can always be reminded no matter how overwhelming my life may seem, there are always others doing more, with less.
Gratitude has been a powerful force in my life, and I believe I might be the luckiest woman in the world. While maybe not at first glance, or from the coles notes of my life so far, but there is so much beauty underneath of so many sob stories, if we just take time to listen.
I hope to share these stories, so I can always be reminded no matter how overwhelming my life may seem, there are always others doing more, with less.
Gratitude has been a powerful force in my life, and I believe I might be the luckiest woman in the world. While maybe not at first glance, or from the coles notes of my life so far, but there is so much beauty underneath of so many sob stories, if we just take time to listen.
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